Xycle + Xymmetry

NOW COVERED IN CHOCOLATE AND BITEMARKS

Anyway, today’s story to make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside (from happiness rather than Scotch, you jaded ratbags) is about King Colin Firth, recent Oscar winner and seemingly all-round nice guy, good dad and sexual pioneer. Last bit’s kind of an assumption, we’ll admit.

So, as was overheard at a Sod Cancer charity quiz by one of our higher-rolling moles, it seems that as soon as Colin got home with his Oscar statuette, he let his kids take it into school, where not only was it fondled by other children, but also by the staff and parents. Colin, you dirty dog.

ROFL.

I approve of this very, very licentious behavior.

(Yes, this is the right time to use that word!)